When the Contract Ends

A few months before my post-doctoral contract ended, I started looking for a new position. I did not have experience in teaching and preferred to do research, so I was looking for another postdoc. I also considered shifting to non-academic jobs but was less successful than applying for another post-doc and getting invited for interviews. Location was also one of my considerations when selecting jobs. I didn't want to move to another city, especially if it was only for a one or two-year position. Can you imagine uprooting your life every two years? I know people who do it for research, moving places, bringing the whole family, looking for schools, and finding new activities. However, after my 40s, I don't have the energy anymore. 

In my early days, I have been moving places. I did my PhD in the Netherlands for 5 years, worked in Indonesia for 3.5 years, returned to academia as a post-doc in Singapore for 3 years, and in the UK for 2 years. Each place has its beauty, but it also comes with the cost of leaving people with whom you have bonded and creating new relationships while trying to figure out how to maintain the previous one through a distance.

Feelings are a bit of everything. It's nice to have time to reflect on what you want without constantly being chased by deadlines. However, in the back of my head, there is a question: What if you don't have the option to decide what you want? No door will open for you. The pathway of following deadlines for articles, organising workshops/events and interviews shifts into a path of finding things to do. 

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